Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It’s Texas ! Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he’ll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.
Did you ever hear anyone go, ‘Wow…so you’re from Iowa ? Cool, tell me about it?’ Do you know why? Because no one cares about Iowa
Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas .
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto .
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest .
Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend .
Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.
Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas .
Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork .
Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even Mexico .
Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium, too)
Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W.Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and George W. Bush and let’s not forget GEORGE STRAIT
PANTERA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Texas is great companies like Dell Computer and Advanced Micro Devices AMD, Inc, Texas Instruments and Compaq, Bell Heilocopter And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter.
Texas is NASA.
Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.
Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.
Texans have pride like no others.
Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.
Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.
Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for a Night In Old San Antonio & the River Parade in San Antonio.
To drive across Texas is to drive 1/4 the way across the United States .
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.
If it isn’t in Texas , you probably don’t need it.
Everything’s bigger in Texas !
No one does anything bigger or better than it’s done in Texas .
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine , and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.
Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That’s the best part, right there.
Texas even has its own power grid!! … Did I mention Live music capitol of the world?
If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won’t even need to be told to pass this on.
No…I didn’t write this, but I believe every cotton pickin’ word of it!
See you on the high ground…
MajorDad1984
The old joke when writing officer efficiency reports used to be when you couldn’t say anything good about an officer, you could always say he looked good astride a horse…..well….guess it’s still true.
See you on the high ground…or from a hospital bed. It’s roping night tomorrow!
MajorDad1984
Well, let’s see that sawed off little tyrant beat his chest about his computer weasels!
The other interesting part of this story is that the Iranians bellowing about being able to reach Israel? Not with those missiles…unless they’re some sort of souped of version of the old Soviet FROG-7. (Free Rocket Over Ground) Without “Googling” them…I seem to remember they have a range of about 100 kilometers or about 60 miles. That must mean they’re going to drive their launchers clear across Iraq….scoot into Syria or Jordan to hit Israel with them.
While I certainly don’t want to see the Middle East erupt into full scale conflict…this jerk needs to be shut down. The media darling is driving the price of oil and other commodities up AND to be quite honest, I think the West will have something to say about it.
See you on the high ground folks!
MajorDad1984
This is why we love Texas …
Texans get right to the point and most of the time, what they say is correct.
T. B. Bechtel, a part-time City Councilman from Midland, TX., was asked on
a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners.
His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.“If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner’s b@lls to a car’s battery cables will
save one Texas GI’s life, then I have just three things to say:Red is positive,
Black is negative,
Make sure his b@lls are wet.”
While this brings a smile to my face…I do know the difference between torture and interrogation. I SERIOUSLY doubt that the average insurgent (Musfidun) prisoner (think we should have far less of these) is treated to this kind of interrogation.
After my 5th of July fun in the sun getting drug behind a boat at 30 mph…I think that wouldn’t be a bad way to try to get a little information out of folks…..might just be the fact that I’m closer to 50 than I am to 40 these days.
See you on the high ground and hope y’all had a great 4th of July!
MajorDad1984
Pretty easy to make…if this Old Soldier can figure it out, so can you!Ingredients:
3/4 cup Cold Butter
1 pkg Chocolate Cake Mix
1 Egg, Slightly Beaten
8 oz. Cream Cheese
1 cup Powdered Sugar
4 cups Cool Whip (Large Container)
3 cups Milk
2 Small Packs of Chocolate Pudding
Directions:
1. In a large bowl, mix butter and cake mix. Add egg. Place in 9″x13″ glass pan and bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes. Allow to cool.
2. Mix cream cheese and sugar until it is fluffy. Fold in one cup of Cool Whip and spread over cooled cake.
3. Mix the 3 cups of milk with the pudding mix. Pour and spread over the cake and previous layer.
4. Top off with the remaining Cool Whip.
5. Refrigerate for at least two hours (if not overnight.)
6. Garnish with chocolate shavings or chocolate chips.
Again…getting lots of good material! Saves me from thinking too hard!
1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
2. Pronounce all one-syllable words as if they had two syllables.
3. When giving directions, finish with “it’s right down yonder on the left.” Confuses them no end!
4. Talk REAL slow, and (even when you hear them the first time) always ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they’re saying.
5. When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell ‘em “Delta’s ready when you are!”
6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
7. Refer to every soft drink as a “Coke.”
8. Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don’t have it, raise a ruckus.
9. Offer to send ‘em a bottle of fresh air.
10. Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie, John Michael, Jim Bob, etc. . . .)
11. Frequently bring up “The War of Northern Aggression” in conversation. If anyone ever says the words “Civil War”, always interject that “there was nothing civil about it.”
12. Address all males as “son” and females as “little lady”.
13. Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It’s “Pah-kahn” not “Pee-can”.
14. Put Tabasco on everything.
15. For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say “Yo, I’m from upstate New Yoik!”, say “Well I’ll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!”
16. When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies . . . preferably the banana ones.
17. Name all of your children “Bubba”.
18. Use the word “reckon” in a sentence and watch their reaction.
19. “Mash” buttons. “Cut off” lights. “Carry” the kids to school. Always remember (especially in Texas) it’s not a “pond”, it’s a “tank.”
20. Never simply “do” something. Always be “fixin’ to do” something.
21. Tell them you don’t have an accent, they do.
22. Be sure to include “yes/no ma’am/sir” in all conversations . . . Offends the devil out of ‘em.
23. Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. “Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there . . . ” “You said left.” “Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town . . . ”
24. Ask them if it’s still snowing up North. Then tell ‘em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.
25. Call ‘em a yankee. Works every time!
See y’all on the high ground…it’s down the road a piece!
MajorDad1984
Thank you to an anonymous donor for these….enjoy!
This right on and hilarious!
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
10… Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 .. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
Amen, Hallelujah and pass the ammunition! See you on the high ground…
MajorDad1984
This past week, I was able to brag about one of my father’s recent accomplishments and even contribute a little something to a bible study session I was attending. The conversation was headed down the path about sometimes the rewards of our actions take time to receive. I thought that it was the perfect time to jump in and use my Dad as an example.
Late last year, my parents received a call from my dad’s former school district. The caller was asking permission to release my Dad’s contact information to a governmental agency. Within a few days, he was indeed contacted by NASA. The reason? One of his former students had actually become a rocket scientist and had been in the NASA astronaut program for a number of years. It was time for Garrett Reisman to join his fellow crewmembers in slipping the surly bonds and soaring to touch the face of God. Yes, he was going to become an astronaut with a flight under his belt. He remembered how my father encouraged him to bring in his model rockets to school and launch them for the class thirty years ago.
When NASA contacted my parents…it was to offer them an invitation Garrett extended to his friends and family to join him in Florida (well, not exactly him since he was in isolation) for the launch in March. Garrett made sure to include other members of my Dad’s family too! If I hadn’t been as familiar with the Shuttle program’s “on time launch” track record…I might have signed up to go myself. However from 1993-1995 I lived just about 30 miles from the Cape and can recall the disappointment of driving out to one of the causeways to watch a launch…only to have it scrubbed five minutes before the scheduled time. While I bowed out, my parents jumped at the chance!
So…just after my Dad’s 68th birthday he joined Garrett’s friends and family in Florida for a series of pre-launch events. These included a cocktail party hosted by several astronauts (although, due to the requirements for isolation they could not attend themselves), a very much “behind the curtain” tour of the Kennedy Space Center, and of course…probably the very best seats in the house for a launch.
And off they went! As you can see, a beautiful launch…but had I been in my old front yard in Palm Bay, Florida I probably wouldn’t have seen much that night. The weather at 2 am was pretty overcast and the Shuttle disappeared into the clouds rather quickly, but as you can see, my parents along with the families and friends of the crew got quite a show!
But…that isn’t all. Within a day or so of entering Earth’s orbit, Garrett joined the handful of Americans who have actually “walked” in space. I’ll have to rely on my Mom and Dad to comment about that first trip outside into the darkness of space. Apparently Garrett’s quite a witty guy. Have any doubt that a PhD from Cal Poly has a good sense of humor? Check out the following link where Garrett entertained the viewers on Comedy Central during an interview with host Steven Colbert. I think you’ll agree that Garrett definitely stole the show!
Garrett Reisman’s Interview with Steven Colbert on Comedy Central
OR
Just the other day, when I called my parents, my Dad’s first words to me were, “Oh, it’s you.” He went on to explain that he had just been talking to Garrett from the International Space Station. Astronauts are allotted several minutes a day to place phone calls to Earth. I am proud, excited…but not surprised that Garrett chose to give my Dad a call “just because.” I guess one reason might be that as a “special guy” my Dad’s got Garrett’s “space email” address and has been in touch.
Yes, my Dad certainly is a special guy. A very humble man, who might have thought that he hadn’t done as much with his life as he could have. Dad, you’re wrong. You raised two successful kids who for the most part haven’t given you too much grief since we left the nest…you encouraged a young man in Parsippany, NJ to dream and reach for the stars….and touched hundreds of lives in the classroom. Garrett’s the most publicized, but I know that there are any number of young adults today that are better people for having sat in front of your desk. I probably don’t say “I Love You” nearly enough as I should…but know that I do and appreciate everything you’ve done for ALL OF US.
Get that back under control…and get back to Chase Field. The Diamondbacks need you back in your “office.”
See you on the high ground…or at least from the upper deck!
MajorDad1984
P.S. If you want to share this with Garrett…I’d love to have a comment on the blog from the International Space Station!
Well, here I am again. Confessing to all six of you that check here from time to time, that I have been remiss in my duties as the head blogger and bottlewasher at Cursed by a Classical Education - Part II. Life’s been a little hectic here in my small corner of God’s country…but I hope to pick up the pieces of this broken blog and see what direction it might head in the future.
For those of you that are readers…let me know what you want to hear about. For those of you that have taken a chance on Google’s random URL generator or clicked a link from an older trackback, welcome aboard.
Having said all that, I feel a little better. Now on to writing a post that I’ve been procrastinating on for a few months now.
See you on the high ground!
MajorDad1984